Are you a tortoise or a hare?

Stalling and rushing — both aren’t time management issues but emotional regulation deficits.

I’m the kind of person who replies to emails and text messages within 24 hours. I want my taxes done months ahead of deadline. You’ll find at least a month’s supply of toilet paper in my apartment at any given time because I’ve planned ahead so I won’t run low. “Why do what can be done today tomorrow?” is my motto.

My husband’s line is “It will get done. I don’t have the bandwidth to deal with this today, or this week. I can’t tell you when it will get done, but it will get done.”

As someone who likes to complete tomorrow’s (and the day after’s) tasks today, I see him as a procrastinator, someone who lacks the efficiency and speed required to swiftly and gracefully whack those tennis balls that life will always throw at us.

He sees me as a “rusher”, someone fueled by urgency, restlessness and anxiety. Someone who needs to slow down and take deep breaths.

This morning, we were discussing some paperwork we both needed to complete together, and I brought up the subject of procrastination. I called him a procrastinator. He denied this claiming that he always gets the thing done, just not right away.

“A procrastinator is someone who delays, who is task averse, who puts things off,” I said, “and that’s you.”

“No, a procrastinator is someone who needlessly puts things off,” he countered.

I was confused. So, I Googled “procrastination” for clarity.

He was partially right. AI reports:

“Procrastination is an emotional regulation problem, not a time management issue. You needlessly put things off because your brain is trying to avoid the stress associated with a task, opting for short-term comfort instead.”

Just for the fun of it, I also Googled “rusher” and here’s what came up:

“Someone who is constantly rushing through activities or traveling frantically. A person who acts precipitously or makes quick, sudden decisions without thinking them through. A ‘rusher personality’ describes an individual who consistently acts with speed, haste, and impulsivity. People with this disposition prioritize quick execution over careful planning. They are usually highly driven and action-oriented, but they can also be impatient and prone to overlooking details.”

I would not typically consider myself impulsive or careless. I am usually deliberate, strategic and meticulous. But my conscientiousness flies out the window when I am in distress or in crisis mode.

In the last month, my haste has cost me money and time. A fortnight ago, I was stuck in horrendous traffic enroute from my hotel to San Franscisco airport (not due to poor planning but because of a marathon which I was not aware of). I knew I was going to miss my flight back to Portland. Panicking in my Lyft ride, I went onto Priceline and purchased a flight for a later time. This helped me relax and I felt so much less worried. Later, it dawned on me that I could have just gone onto the airline’s website and changed my flight for much less money. If only I had just slowed down enough to consider my options more carefully.

Last weekend, I noticed that a section of the cat tree we’d had for five years was broken with an exposed wooden shard sticking out. I asked my husband to take it down because I didn’t want our cats to hurt themselves. Once the tree was gone, our kitties seemed distressed by its absence and I was distressed by their distress. I wasn’t sure if I wanted the same tree (make and model) that we had gotten rid, or a new brand/model. I wanted to get a new tree installed asap so I bought a new make/model from a local manufacturer because it would arrive within 2–5 business days. After I did so, I relaxed and my body and mind felt less tense.

A day after making the purchase, I felt uneasy because I realized there were too many elements in the new tree that wouldn’t work. So today, I purchased the old make and model and will now have to return the other one, which has already been shipped.

I guess some people stall when stressed, others, like myself, speed up. To compliment AI’s definition of “procrastination” here’s my definition of “rushing”:

“Rushing, aka ‘moving too fast’ is an emotional regulation problem, not an effective time management strategy. You needlessly execute because your brain is trying to avoid the stress associated with uncertainty and non-action, opting for short-term comfort instead.”

While I don’t condone putting things off indefinitely and I stand by the merits of staying on top of things, it’s been humbling for me to see the drawbacks of being a Speedy Gonzales. I realize I need to alter my pace, find middle ground between efficiency and delay. The next time I am overwhelmed, I will try to pause, wait and decelerate.

Here’s an adage that both my husband and I agree with — “Slow and steady wins the race”.

“Maybe so,” I say, “but don’t forget, it’s still a race! Arriba, arriba! Andale, andale!”